Remember me
by The cursed child
Summary: Bella is changed when the Cullens leave, and now she's on her way to becoming undesirable #1. She has to kill Victoria's army, and tell the Cullens who she is before they are destroyed by the others. They have only one chance to survive; their insider.
1. the end of the beginning

**A/N Don't own**

It's been two months since He left. The nightmares have been preventing any sleep. I'm nauseous all the time and I barely eat these days, even Charlie is going to give up on me soon.

He has been great, trying to help me, but it was hopeless. I cannot be helped. It's slowly getting worse. But at the same time, I'm getting better. I am not hungry anymore. The cravings, the urges to eat have disappeared somewhere along the way. I've stopped tripping and stumbling. All of my clumsiness has gone. It took me a while to notice at first.

I barely leave my room these days. Even His scent can no longer get me through the night. It is not on my pillow or my sheets, not even on my rocking chair, the place where he used to sit, watching me sleep. I can't stand to see my own face.

I broke the mirror in a fit of rage. My skin was barely scratched. I wasn't even bleeding. It was just a few minutes ago, when I realised what was happening. I have a single theory. I am becoming what he was. What I wanted – no want – to be ever since I knew.

I have never been normal, but I have the feeling that I won't be normal now, either. Even when my heart stops beating. For the first time since He left I felt hope. I'm changing. The venom is coursing through my veins. James' venom. It isn't the venom that I want, but I'm changing all the same.

The broken mirror shows it to me, the cracks not hiding my newest secret. I am pale, but not like I was. I am pale like They are. My skin glitters in the sunlight that reaches my room through the window. I want to see if I'm stronger and faster, but I can't.

I would have to go into the forest, where noone can see me, but He left me there. I still can't handle going back, although I have to soon. I have realised that Charlie couldn't see me like this, but I've also realised that he wouldn't stop looking for me until the day he died.

I will have to fake my own death. It's the only way to disappear from everyone's lives. There's a storm coming tomorrow, I will park my truck by the cliff and leave a note. They will assume I jumped and drowned. And that is the moment I'll be waiting for, the moment I can leave. Through the forest being the best option. I've bought some hiking equipment, it will be useful, for I do not know how long it will take for me to change. I am leaving tonight.

* * *

><p>Charlie's out, at work I think. I can drive my truck to the cliff easily, noone sees me on my way there. There's noone that will see me alive again, with my heart beating.<p>

I wrote my note in advance, having thought carefully about the wording. I walk into the forest, and want to return to my truck almost immediately, but I resist the urge and go on. Memories invade my train of thought. This is the forest in which He left me. The forest where everything changed. I try running for a while and it is breathtaking, the speed, the grace, it's unfamiliar and yet instinctual.

I am not as fast as they are. I don't need to be. I run as fast as I can, leaping over trees and trunks. After a few minutes I stand on the edge of our meadow, a place that means so much to me that I can't move, thinking back. It felt like I would stand here for the rest of my life, frozen. And then it happened.

A doe, just a simple doe, runs into the meadow. I take a look at the beautiful creature. As soon as I take a breath I smell its blood. And that is when it starts. The scar on my arm, the place where James bit me, starts burning.


	2. a new start

The pain spreads. First my arm, then my chest, and from there to my other limbs. I scream loudly, I'm in agony. I see the doe run away, but I don't have the strength to keep my eyes open. I keep screaming my throat hoarse. The pain is unbearable, and when I can't block the pain out any longer and let go, everything goes black.

I open my eyes slowly and look around in wonder. Everything I see is clear and detailed, the colours of the rainbow in the sky are beautiful. I hear the prettiest sounds, small and large animals calling out to their friends and family. I take a step and laugh, when I notice it took less then half a second. I jump when I hear the clear voice I now posses, and laugh again, when I jump several feet into the air. I walk to a nearby stream, wanting to drink some water. Although it is pretty hard to do so. I keep walking fast, even though I try walking a human pace.

The water reflects my mirror-image. I don't even look like I did anymore. My hair is still brown, but my face changed completely. And my eyes are … golden? That's impossible. My eyes should be red, at least until I ate, that is pretty much all I know about newborns. I suppose I can't be normal for once. I was brought out of my musings by an even more painful burning in my throat. I couldn't stop it. There was blood nearby.

I panicked. Would I be able to stop? Jasper's behaviour set a good example, I wouldn't. I took a deep breath, trying to calm myself. A mistake. The scent was overwhelming and …not human? There was no guilt. The deer didn't stand a chance. I've eaten meat before in my human life, this didn't bother me. Feeling extremely strong, I grabbed a branch and tore it from its tree. I was positively giddy. And that mood evaporated when I smelled another vampire, it wasn't that hard to guess who it was. Victoria.

I ran away without a though. I might be strong right now, but Victoria had experience. Very much of it. I ran to Forks as fast as I could. I had to protect Charlie.

I was close to my house, when a horrible stench invaded my nose thrills. Even though I didn't know what it – no they – were, they were dangerous. I was between a rock and a hard place. Behind me Victoria, in front of me, a natural enemy. I chose the hard place. But when I came into their sight and they in mine, I almost ran to Victoria. Her arms would probably feel safe right now.

In front of me big wolves were growling at me, huge wolves. "We descent from wolves.", Jacob told me once. It wasn't that hard to conclude that this was not a myth. I couldn't help but think 'werewolves'! These creatures wouldn't leave me alone, just like Victoria wouldn't if she knew who I was, I was pretty sure that she wouldn't recognize me. I ran as fast as I could, north, to Canada. It was frightening, the wolves followed me to Seattle when suddenly they changed course. They were following a scent that was familiar, Victoria's. Who was dangerous for sure. I checked into a hotel and sat down to think.

**A/N Because Bella is a vampire, she is a lot more confident. She is almost indestructible. She also uses her brain in remember me. She was portrayed very smart in twilight. Which is why I think she should observe more. I do know that being smart and being observant aren't equals. **


	3. Let's go

I hadn't prepared myself well. I had taken all my money from my account and would be able to live on it for at least a couple of weeks. I didn't have any knowledge about my new lifestyle, although I doubted that their knowledge could come in handy. I was in a town full of people, and all I smelled was an only remotely nice smelling scent. Some dogs smelled delicious, but I was enabled to resist attacking them because of the humans' relative stench

In the following months I was busy because Victoria was tracking me. She wanted to know who I was, why I was avoiding her. At the same time she was creating other vampires. It wasn't that hard to figure out, she left the clues out in the open. She had someone else working for her though, I guessed that it was the first boy who had disappeared.

Thankfully, she didn't know that I used to be Bella Swan, and I kept it that way. She was following me because she wanted to know what vampire had the scent that escaped from her again and again, not because she wanted to take revenge for her killed mate.

I was taking fighting lessons by watching a class through the window. It had taken me a while to learn how to keep a human pace, and how to change without ripping my clothes apart. I refrain from sparring with anybody but the passing nomads, but observation is learning too, and when I was out of annoying vampires, trees were always willing to fight me.

I used my time wisely. I learned new scents, I interrogated a newborn I found and learned things about my new life. I was especially interested in the Volturi, who should have heard about me by now, and had considered talking to them, but I acknowledged that going to my enemy wasn't very smart.

My job at a little restaurant was fun, but it didn't pay very well. I had to earn my keep. Life was cheap when you only needed a room to keep your stuff.

I noticed that I am not attracted to human blood after living in Seattle for a while. It was a blessing. This meant that blending in was easy, because I needed money badly. You can't have a job if you feel the urge to kill your boss and co-workers, just because they smell good.

I had to change hotels every couple of days. Victoria was not as good as James, but still a very good tracker, I didn't leave though. I was killing some of her newborns, knowing that she was up to something. The newborns themselves weren't trained and were easily killed, once you knew how to.

I hadn't encountered any powers yet and was glad. I did know that I had a mental shield, and kept it up at all times. When I noticed that vampires couldn't smell me either I was over the moon. Vampires would only know that I was there when they saw me or heard me, unable to smell or trace me. The only way that I would be found was the paper trail I left behind, but I used Marie Swan, something else that intrigued Victoria, who was unable to find me once I raised my shield.

I took my time, teaching myself how to hunt, to kill and to blend in of course. I kept an eye on Victoria, wanting to know her next move. She had bitten just over twenty humans and was on the move.

I hadn't seen the wolves again. I presumed that they couldn't leave their land to hunt down a fleeing vampire. I was pretty sure that Victoria had seen them again, though. She had been trying to kill me, the human me, and had to get past the wolves to do that.

She'd found out that I was dead too soon and had no reason to stay in Seattle any longer. She was on the move. Victoria was going after Him.

I had to stop her. There was no way that I would let her tell Them that I was dead, I could still hear His words in my head. I couldn't let His family die because of me.

It wasn't that hard to find out were They were staying. Google comes in handy sometimes. Dr. Cullen was very popular in the medical social circles, even if no pictures were available.

Victoria had to train her newborns and keep them away from the cities. This meant that she had to take the longest way to Alaska. It would take an estimated two weeks for her to arrive there and attack.

I was walking down the street in a human pace, intending to start running as soon as I was out of sight. After all, out of sight out of mind.

I smelt another vampire. It was definitely not Victoria, nor was it a newborn. It was not a familiar scent to me at all. I followed the scent to the northern part of the city and found a vampire with eyes as red as blood.

He saw me and proceeded to introduce himself. "Demitri Volturi, at your service."

I had been gaining quite a reputation these days. I'd killed a few vampires on my territory and let a couple of them go to sent the message. You. Do. Not. Mess. With. Me.

"To what do I owe the pleasure?" I asked. I doubted that the Volturi was looking for me. The news of me reaching Italy this fast was astounding, I'd have to have made an impression.

"My masters require your presence in Volterra," he replied smoothly. He was their tracker, I knew that much. How he actually found me was a mystery. Victoria had tried tracking my scent, but her mouth runs away with her sometimes. She said that she could only find me by following my paper trail. So the question was, how did he find me.

"How did you find me? I have been told that trackers cannot trace me."

"I followed the vampire Victoria. According to my informants you have crossed paths quite a few times. I assumed that you would be here," he stayed calm. I also noticed that he didn't tell me about my tracker dilemma.

If there is one thing that I know about vampires, it is that they like verbal sparring. It is what they don't tell you that matters. If he evades my question, it means that he doesn't want to answer it. This means that he indeed couldn't track me with his usual methods.

"You were informed correctly," I didn't see a purpose in lying.

"My masters are waiting for you. They have heard about you and have an offer to make."

"They want me to join the Guard." It was a statement, not a question.

"I've been asked to let them discuss this with you."

I could go with him of course. I had twelve days to get to Their new home, this would be a nice distraction. If I hop onto the plane now, I can still be on time to ... To do what exactly? Taking on twenty-one vampires isn't the best plan I've ever had. Oh well, I will think about that one when I have to.

"Follow me," he ordered, I don't like orders. He walked away, expecting me to obey, I stayed were I was.

"Are you coming?" he asked, obviously very annoyed.

"I'm a vampire, not a dog. I don't do orders," I sneered back.

"I am a Volturi, you are to obey me," he said haughtily.

"I am who they have named The Runaway, I don't grovel, I do not bow. Especially for you and your 'Masters'," I said in the same tone he had used. "You can say please," I added, God, I was having fun.

"Follow me, please," he said, gritting his razor-sharp teeth. He was used to ladies groveling at his feet, this vampire killed his ego.

I followed him, having wasted enough time playing games.

He looked like a petulant child. He guided me to the airport and we started our journey to Italy, Volterra. I kept silent throughout the plane ride. I felt no need to speak with Demitri.

We arrived at night and I immediately bought a ticket to Alaska. I would leave within the week. I told Demitri that I wouldn't be staying very long. Basically, I told him that I wouldn't join the Guard without saying so.

A/N Alright my dear readers. For those who are still reading this story: do you want an Edward/Bella or an Bella/Jacob pairing or maybe even another Bella/ Cullen paring?I don't do Bella/Emmett, because I think that Emmett is the perfect big brither, sorry guys... I am at 6000 words now and I am very much stuck. I will update again in two days, because the holidays have started here! I will be able to write more, as soon as my writer's block is over. By the way, if you have any challenges for one-shots, I'll write them if you give me an idea.


	4. Here I am

**A/N enjoy the chapter and please read the author's note at the bottom of the chapter.**

Italy was beautiful, and very warm. The surroundings were breathtaking, I would be returning here at least once in my existence.

We proceeded to go to Volterra. I knew that there was at least one vampire at the gate, waiting for me. There were three of them waiting there, looking interested without looking overly curious. There were two men and a girl. The girl was very small and looked very delicate, but her eyes told me otherwise. She smirked when we reached the gate.

"Welcome to Volterra," she said in a decidedly evil voice, but she was at least trying to be nice. "This is Felix, and this is my brother Alec. I am Jane," the vampire introduced her companions and herself. "You already know Demitri of course."

"I do indeed," I had no interest in telling them my name, definitely not if she knew about my previous life, the Cullen's human pet was known by some vampires, the Volturi was resourceful enough to find out about it. Even than, they shouldn't be able to recognize me, fortunately.

The blond looked agitated, but quickly turned around and walked away. I followed her soundlessly and took in my surroundings.

Volterra was pretty. It was an old city, the walls surrounding it showing its age.

We entered the Volturi's hide-out and I took in every single escape route I could find, there was no need in tempting faith if one could not escape from a certain death.

We entered the throne room and I immediately laid my eyes on the three men on their thrones. According to the last newborn I'd interrogated these men were Aro, Marcus and Caius. They were at the top of the food chain.

"Welcome," Aro stood and opened his arms, as if inviting me for a hug.

I was obviously not going to hug him and he let his arms fall to his side. I kept silent, wanting to see what he was going to do now.

"We've been hearing a lot about you," The leader stated, leaving room for an answer, obviously looking for further conversation.

"Nothing good I hope," I half asked half said. I was annoying him, enjoying it too.

"You're very hard to find, Demitri had to alter his ways to track you down." Aro ignored my statement and hoped that I would elaborate this time.

"My powers are a mystery even to me. I am still unfamiliar with its extent."

"You are some kind of shield than?" Aro was getting desperate, he was used to getting every answer by a single touch. This would not work if I was able to block his powers. He was still smiling though.

"Powers have yet to come into play in my battles. Testing them is something that has yet to occur."

"Would you mind me testing them?" Aro asked. I'd left this open on purpose. If I was to encounter Him again I would have to keep my thoughts to myself. It is likely to occur when you have eternity. If I could withstand Aro, I could withstand Him.

Aro held out his hand and I grabbed it. As soon as I saw him concentrate I knew it worked. Aro lost his composure long enough for me to notice, but it was gone within the very same second.

The vampire smiled at me and took his seat. "We'd like to offer you a place in the Volturi coven and my personal guard."

This was merely expected. Aro wasn't exactly being subtle.

"I thank you for your offer, but I have become accustomed to my freedom. I am not used to sitting still for long." I loved the freedom I had, I didn't want to be tied down by anyone.

Aro was contemplating. He wanted me to join, I had a very interesting power.

"Would you agree to stay here for a week? If you are still uncomfortable then, you can leave."

He wouldn't let me leave, I was too valuable. This was merely a illusion of freewill. I was leaving in a week, this was the perfect opportunity to find some blackmail on the Volturi. I was going to have fun.

"Thank you, I accept your offer, I will stay here this week and try to adapt to a new life in Volterra. When this doesn't work out, I'll leave." Everyone noticed that I said when, but noone commented on it. They did notice however that I had golden eyes. To them, this meant that I was at least a year old.

Many of the vampires had left Volterra to take care of something. There were still at least ten vampires here, however. I ignored them and started exploring headquarters. It was big in here. Everyone seemed to have their own rooms, I think there was only some personal stuff in them. They certainly didn't need a place to sleep. It was then that I entered a big room with lots and lots of books. I grabbed a random book and the title read: 'Denali'

**A/N Well, I'm having a problem people. My friend and beta sadanimelover wants an edward/bella pairing, sousie wants a Volturi/bella (which can only be marcus/bella because other members won't fit the plot) or bella/jasper (what will result in a jacob/alice and edward/leah (I'll solve the stench problem somehow.)) I have no opinion on the matter as I love each and every pairing (unless I missed one) and can give reasons why they should and shouldn't be together. Which means that I'll need a third vote or else this story will not be updated until I have decided what pairing I'll choose. There are of course still 4 chapters that I've already written left and they'll be posted every three or four days until there are no chapters left. I'll need a pairing once this happens because (even if I don't like it) these books need romance to work and fanfics do too.**


	5. annoying vampires is fun

**A/N I was bored and decided to post another chapter. Enjoy Bella VS Jane**

It was a detailed account about the Denali coven, the coven They were staying with. I read about Sasha and the immortal child, the alliance/bond with Their coven and Laurent joining a couple of months ago.

I traced the titles of the books with my fingertips. I found documents about a couple of vampires that I'd killed. There were files about nomads and newborns, but also about the oldest vampires that existed. The documents with a cross on it were eliminated vampires. They had intelligence about everyone, I even found mine after searching for a while. There was barely anything in it though. Only about my powers and the fact that I was being tracked by Victoria. They also mentioned that I used the name Marie Swan and had been looking for any motives behind choosing that alias.

They didn't know anything of importance. They didn't know anything about my life as a human, for that, I was grateful. I did find a list of vampires that I'd killed, confirmed and suspected. I was classified as highly dangerous. I wasn't sure how I felt about that. It gave me a feeling of power, but at the same time I felt like I should feel. I am a murderer after all, no matter how justified my actions were. Reading their files made me feel less guilty about killing them, they were monsters. Three of them had killed a whole village.

I found Their book by accident. Having it in my hands compelled me to read it. It was a detailed accounted about the leader of the coven and the stories were intriguing. It did hurt to read Their names, but I didn't let it distract me.

They all had their own past, horrifying and bloody. I read about His decade of killing criminals. I felt nothing. He had killed murderers and rapists, just like I'd done, even though mine had had a fighting chance. I noticed that the Volturi didn't know anything about the human me. I knew enough by now that they would get their death sentence when the Volturi found out about it, they had been looking for reasons to eliminate the powerful coven for years, decades even.

I put the booklet back in its place and sat down with some scrolls. Their was a goldmine of information in my hands and I kept reading. I had apparently skipped the whole newborn-phase. It was a welcomed surprise.

I kept reading, scroll after scroll touched my hands. I tried to find the Volturi file and found it, but it was disappointing. They had been extremely sloppy. There was barely anything about Aro, Marcus and Caius. Their powers, their names, their mates and the day they were turned were left. Everything else had been erased.

The other guards were just as detailed as everyone else. They had some interesting stories, but there was little I could use, except for the powers listed, should I ever have to fight them.

I was interrupted when I smelt a vampire nearby. I looked up to see Jane staring at me.

"This may hurt just a little," she smirked.

It took me a second to realize that she was trying to hurt me with her powers. I just relaxed in my chair and smirked when she got aggravated. She looked at me as if I was a puzzle she had to solve.

"Can I help you, Jane?" I asked. She glared at me, knowing that I was making fun of her by being polite.

"You're not allowed to be here. This is solely for the guard," she said, trying to get me away from the files.

"Don't worry Jane, I've already read your file. It was barely interesting enough to read." That was a lie. The way she got her powers was quite interesting. I had more interest in her brother's power however. It was highly dangerous because he could use it on multiple vampires at the same time.

"I didn't come here to stop you from reading my file, but because you aren't allowed to be here at all," she said, annoyed.

I ignored her. "You're afraid that I will take your place in the Guard and are planning to kill me." She was obviously not trained in verbal sparring, she was reacting too much. She was after all just a child. Thirteen at the most.

"You're just a defensive weapon. I am this high up in the Guard because I give an advantage at every battle as an offensive weapon."

I stood up and started circling her. Not being used to this, she stood stiffly as I whispered in her ear.

"I don't know the extent of my powers, yet. I could have an offensive power as well. Aro likes me already. You will be of no use when I discover that power," I gloated. She growled. She wasn't used to being degraded like this. She'd always used her powers before this could happen.

I walked out of the library, having spent a whole day reading. There was nothing left there. I bumped into Demitri on my way out. "Why don't you go and fetch me a car. I need to hunt."

"I am not a dog!" he said indignantly. He had learned by now that his charms weren't going to work on me, and showed his less controlled side to me. It was funny that he used the same phrase as I did when we met.

"Do you want me to go to Aro and tell him that you are disobeying your guest?" I asked, challenging him. I tilted my head to the side, trying to convince him about my honesty.

"Fine, I'll fetch you a car." He walked away and I waited, looking for another vampire to annoy.

I didn't find another vampire, but I came up with a devious idea when I saw a couple of jars filled with blood. These were used when noone had time to hunt for food, blood from a glass. I cleaned the jars and put them in my jacket.

I went hunting in a forest nearby. I'd dumped the tracker and fed. I killed another animal and poured its blood into the jars.

I went back to Volterra and explored some more. I found Felix on my way to the library.

"Hello Bella, do you feel like fighting?" he asked. I panicked. He shouldn't know my name, he'd never met me as a human. How could he…. Wait! I'm in Italy. Bella means beautiful here. Wait! He was flirting with me. This was going to be so much fun.

"Do you like harmless pranks, Felix?" I asked, trying to get some help. This was easy when a boy wanted to impress you. Hormones. Eternal vampire hormones. Ugh.

"Who doesn't, I have to stir things up here once in a while," the vampire smirked and winked at me.

"The wives will have to hunt soon, don't they," I asked

"They do," he said confused, not knowing how that was connected to pranks.

"Thank you, Felix." I left him standing there and walked away with a smile on my face.

I put the jars in their usual place and smiled to myself. This was going to be so much fun.

I left the room and had to keep myself from laughing out loud. The wives were walking towards the room I'd left, they were going to sip some blood.

**A/N** Let's see. I have two people that don't want Edward/Bella, Two who do, even if my beta wants Edward for herself. I have decided that I will follow jeasterl's opinion about Marcus, he will have a fatherly role in this means that that leaves me with Jasper/Bella. I will keep updating the chapters I have left and start writing when I have everything posted, I guess that I'm still hoping for more opinions and reviews. I will spent the rest of my holiday writing the beginning of a book I hope to publish, The cursed child. A dream that I'm chasing at the moment. Well that was my shortish rant. I hope you enjoyed the chapter.


	6. Volterra

**A/N I hope you that this chapter develops the plot more. I've been dragging the upcoming confrontations out and I really want to write about the romance that no story can miss, Jacob, Victoria's death, and the final battle between the Cullens and the Volturi. Let the games begin!**

I went to Aro, I wanted to explore the city. I didn't want to follow his rules per se, but it would help me later on. I'd have to ask him for permission.

"Aro, can I go and explore Volterra for a while, I've barely seen anything of Italy. It would be a shame not to do so."

"Of course you can, on one condition. I want you to take Caius with you." I was surprised to say the least. Why Caius? I asked my question out loud. Well, sort of.

"I wasn't aware of the fact that you would do small jobs like this." I made fun of them and asked my question without sounding like an idiot. Quite a feat.

"I am afraid that everyone is busy. I have to admit that I have to many of us doing something. Out of all of us there are only three without a task. Marcus, Caius and myself. I have to stay here for those whom are back to report their findings. That leaves Caius and Marcus, and I want Marcus to stay with me. I will be in need of his opinion, for I am expecting Chelsea, who will return from her last task."

Well, this was a great opportunity to irritate Caius. He had been glaring at me every time I saw him. He was annoying and arrogant. Time to take him down a peg or two.

"Thank you for accompanying me, Caius."

"I wouldn't be here if I'd had a choice."

"But you didn't have one. Excuse me, I need to go in here. I need some new clothes, I was unable to take much clothing with me."

"Fine, hurry, I have better things to do."

I walked into the shop where I'd spotted four boys with a dozen eggs. The boys looked like they were shopping for their mother and wouldn't be throwing them. New eggs would cost money they didn't have.

"Hello boys, could you help me with something?"

"Of course we can miss, what can we do for you?" the smallest boy said.

"My husband has been bothering me and I need to take revenge. Could you throw these eggs at him for me?" I asked with a small smile.

"We'd love to miss, but we need the eggs for dinner. We can't use them," the tallest boy said. He looked incredibly cute with the small pout.

"How about I give you money for new eggs and you throw these. You won't get into any trouble."

"Really? Thank you."

The boys grabbed some eggs each and I walked outside, grabbing and paying for some clothes on the way. I still hated shopping. I handed the quiet boy some money at the door and winked at them. Let the game begin. We were walking down the street with a very slow pace, even for humans. We abandoned the bigger shopping streets and walked down an unpopulated area. I saw the boys in the corner of my eyes and looked back at Caius. The idiot was looking straight forward, pushing everyone else out off his way.

He pushed a pregnant woman to the side and I gave a signal to the boys. The first egg sailed through the air and landed on Caius' head. I laughed out loud as he grabbed his hair, the egg was slowly ruining his well-kept hair. He turned around, but was too late. He had to keep up pretences and had wasted his time by grabbing his now fully ruined hair. The boys were already vanishing into the crowd.

His mouth moved, but I was the only one in the vicinity to hear him. He cursed. I added some new words to my vocabulary and made sure that the boys were a safe distance away before I helped him. Well, I tried. I had to laugh as soon as I saw him. He was now also cursing at me. He said something like: "Stupid bitch, I'll throw an egg at you, see if you like that…"

We went back 'home ' after that, and I didn't see Volterra much after that, but I didn't mind it that much. The wives were in a very gloomy mood, just like Caius. Caius took a shower after the incident while I went to Aro.

"Hello there, Cara. Did you have a nice time in Volterra?" He asked. He used the word 'Cara' as a term of endearment. It was translated to my dear.

"Yes, I enjoyed my trip very much, thank you." I laughed silently, thinking about Caius and the eggs.

"Do you know why my wife has not been herself today? She's usually happy after she's had some blood."

"I wasn't aware of the fact that your wife left the castle today?"

"She didn't. We have a blood supply for when we don't have time to hunt or when we're travelling."

"I don't know why she is not herself. Blood usually makes every vampire happy."

"Ah well, enjoy the rest of the day."

My week went like this. I irritated the Volturi and wasn't harmed, for fear of my revenge. I'd collected information about every single member and started to plan. As soon as I'd left Volterra the Volturi would start hunting me down. I needed to disappear. My power was extremely helpful with that.

Sulpicia, Aro's wife, had been admiring herself in the mirror when she screamed. Everyone had immediately been in her room and had looked astonished when Sulpicia looked at them with golden eyes. She looked better with red, though. I had realised a second to late that I'd said that out loud.

Aro had been using Chelsea to strengthen my ties with the Volturi. Well, he tried. I was immune to her powers. She couldn't even see my ties. He had tried to use Corin next. He wanted to make me another addict to her power. She softened the pain most felt. She used it on Chelsea for example, who couldn't stand to be away from Corin for long periods of time. It was getting too dangerous for me to stay here.

I've packed my stuff and I'll be leaving tonight. In the middle of the night. I've dropped my backpack close by. I didn't want them to get their hands on my possessions.

**A/N Unless you leave me reviews about the pairing you want I'm going canon. I hope that I will be able to fix their problems and get them together in a believable way. It will not be love at second sight, especially with Bella, she will... I'm telling too much already... sorry people.**

**So, unless you change your mind and protest this is going to be Bella/Edward and Jacob/Leah. The others will be canon pairings.**

**I have one chapter left that I'll post this Sunday. After that, I'll post a chapter once a week. At least! I'm hoping I'll be able to post two.**


	7. Deal

**A/N another chapter, as promised. I hope that I'll be able to post the next chapter on Wednesday.**

I walked into the throne room, the two men were sitting on their chairs. They were arguing. I think that they didn't even notice me there. Caius and Aro were talking about Didyme, Marcus' dead wife and Aro's sister. I heard the words 'kill' and 'ordered'. This was enough for me. Aro had ordered Didyme's death. This was when I saw Chelsea. She walked to Caius and used her power. I saw a subtle nod from Aro when she was done. Chelsea had used her power to strengthen the bond between Caius and Aro. It would be like there had never been a fight.

I wanted to walk away when I was spotted. Aro had me pinned to the wall immediately.

"What did you hear?" he questioned me.

"Enough."

I kicked him and he flew to another wall. I took one look at Caius, waiting for the attack and ran, confused. Caius hadn't seemed angry. He hadn't lifted a finger to help Aro, who was recovering from his collision with the wall.

Most vampires didn't take the time to walk at a slow pace. It wasn't unusual for us to run as fast as we could. Noone tried to stop me. By the time that Aro had recovered and asked for the guards I'd grabbed my backpack and left Volterra. I was on my way to Alaska.

I knew that I had no obligations to Them. To the Cullens. It hurt to say it, but I didn't want to live forever, unable to say those names.

I was the reason that Victoria and James came after us. I was the one that had to fix it, preferably without them knowing.

The Volturi were unable to get to my plane and they didn't even know what flight I was on. I had used another alias, Jane Volturi. They would never think of looking for that name. She would be standing beside them while they were hacking into the flight records.

The plane landed and I was one of the last people back on the ground. I was on my way.

I was able to come close to them without being detected. Alice wouldn't be watching me, Ed- Edward wasn't able to read my mind, they wouldn't hear me and I made sure they wouldn't see me.

The house was in the middle of nowhere. I didn't know why, but they were probably not going to school while living here.

The house itself was beautiful. It was open and many parts were made out of glass. The living room was visible from where I was standing. Emmett was playing some kind of game, he was killing random guys right and left. Rosalie was sitting next to him, her head on his left arm. Seeing as his right arm was moving.

Esme was talking to Carlisle, I couldn't make out the subject, because they were talking fast and softly.

Jasper had a book lying in his lap. He seemed to be reading the book at human speed, because it took a minute for him to turn the page.

Alice was sitting on the piano, her feet dangling in the air. She was singing a song that was accompanied by a beautiful melody. The melody came from the piano. Edward was playing a song I'd never heard of. It was a slow and sad song, yet, I felt the love that was meant to be in this piece. It was lovely.

I felt a slight pressure on my shield. It was the pressure of a power touching it. I walked back without making a sound and found the place where the pressure stopped. I ran the perimeter around their home and imagined the line on the ground that I could not pass. If I wanted to do this without the Cullens knowing, I'd have to keep the newborn army out of my imagined circle.

I was sitting on the ground, waiting for Victoria, when I smelled the stench again. The wolves I'd encountered were closing in on me. I waited, I could not leave this meadow before Victoria was dead.

Three enormous wolves jumped into the clearing. I didn't move and waited until they noticed me. When they did they all jumped for my throat. I jumped into a tree and held my hands into the air. I didn't want to kill them.

"I mean you no harm," I said calmly, hoping that they would back down. The huge animals stood in formation, they were careful and looked like they were considering their options. I didn't know how they were communicating, though.

The one in the middle transformed and I was astounded to see Jacob of all people. He looked older, much older. The other wolves didn't speak. He was obviously their spokesperson. He walked to me, meeting me in the middle.

"Who are you?" he asked suspiciously.

"I am whom they call the Runaway. I am an enemy of our leaders, the Volturi. And the female that is called Victoria."

"You know Victoria?" he said, doubting my words.

"She wants to know who I am. I actually ran into you when she was chasing me a couple of weeks ago."

"That was you?" he asked. He was probably having problems keeping up with the newest information available for him. "We started chasing Victoria when you'd left our territory. She was sure to be a threat to us, you were just passing by."

"It was me, I had some unfinished business in Forks. I killed no humans in that area or another."

"I recognize your eyes. You are an animal hunter, are you not?"

"I am, why are you this far from home?"

"My alpha asked me to do something which I didn't agree to. I am the great-grandson of Ephraim Black, the rightful alpha. I separated myself from the pack and Leah and Seth here joined me."

He pointed at the wolf on his left first and moved his finger to his right when he said the name of the boy I didn't know very well. He was a young boy on the reservation, that was all I knew of him. He was a Clearwater, Leah's brother.

"We decided to travel and ended up here. We were hunting a couple of vampires that are heading this way. They are a group of new vampires and we wanted to surprise them here. Victoria Is the leader, but she is not in contact with them. It's like she doesn't want the group to know that she's there."

"She's on her way to the Cullens, they killed her mate. She wants revenge."

"So it all comes back to those damned Cullens."

"You know them?" I asked with faked surprise.

"They lived in Forks for a while. One of them fell in love with Bella, a human. He left her and she jumped off a cliff. They were the reason that there were so many of us. There are usually only three wolves in every generation that phase."

"I'm sorry for the grief that my mind has cost you." It felt right to apologize to Jacob. His tribe had probably never heard a vampire apologize. Well, maybe Carlisle.

"You don't have to apologize for something you didn't do. We are not here to kill you."

"Thank you for your kind words. I want to make a deal with you. You help me get rid of the army coming this way without the Cullens knowing and I'll give you what you want."

"We ask for your company. We want to learn more about vampires. I can promise that we won't use it against you as long as you don't kill a human. Deal?"

"Deal."

**A/N I'm an idiot. I haven't thanked any of you for your reviews, I apologize. Thank you, Thank you, Thank you. I have nothing left to say people. The next chapter will probably feature only Bella and the wolves. And Leah and Seth will meet Bella in their human forms. **


	8. Reasons

**A/N I want to apologize for the extremely short chapter in advance. I've been having this headache ever since saturday and I can't concentrate on anything. Enjoy.**

"There's a high probability that they're going to hunt before they come here. They will be needing their strength to overpower the Cullens. They separate when they hunt because they don't want another using their prey. If we work fast, we'll be able to kill a few before they arrive near the perimeter."

"This will give us a fighting chance," Leah agreed.

"You forget that there are twenty of them and four of us," Jacob argued. They seemed to be doing that a lot lately. I saw Seth roll his eyes and he gestured for me to follow him when he stood up. We left the two bickering wolves and walked out of their hearing range.

"What did you want to talk about, Seth?" I asked. He hadn't phased ever since they'd shown their human forms to me. Jacob and Leah were just as clueless as I was. It was still funny to see Jacob and Leah together. They fought all the time and I was still waiting for them to kiss. There is a romantic hidden in me.

"Why are you here?" he asked. I have no idea were that came from. We hadn't discussed the reason of my protection for the Cullens. Jacob and Leah were both so busy with each other that they forgot I was there in the first place. Seth was probably bored with the arguing and had spent most of his time observing and talking to me.

"Because you asked me."

"You know what I mean," he said to me.

"I have my reasons, Seth. You'll have to trust me."

"Why?"

"Why? Because I…." I stopped I the middle of my sentence.

"I don't even know your name! You're just one big mystery. I have no reason to trust you! I want to, but I can't, we can't."

"I know, Seth. I can't give you one. What happened in my past, stays in my past. My connection to the Cullens is not important."

"Didn't you hear Jacob? It will be four against at least ten! We have no chance. They have only ever killed one vampire and I have killed none. We have no experience, and I don't want to die."

Seth looked sad. I'd never even realised that they had no experience. They had nothing. Their pack was still in Forks, their families were still in Forks. They had only one set of clothes each and they had no money.

We would die, all of us. I had experience, but I was the one that would go after Victoria. They would fight in pairs at the least. I would be attacked from behind as soon as I had Victoria pinned to the ground. I had been stupid. We would be dead in a matter of seconds.

I had to get them away from here. I just needed to kill Victoria. It would all go away once Victoria was dead.

"You won't die, Seth. I didn't realise, I'm sorry. You can leave right away."

"And let you die here, alone?"

"Sometimes we do what we have to do."

"What did those Cullens do for you?"

"They made me hate them enough to want to protect them. I can live with dying, but you shouldn't."

"Jacob won't let you do this."

"He doesn't need to. I'll make him want to leave."

"Don't do anything you're going to regret."

"I will never regret saving your live, Seth. Never."

I ran back to Leah and Jacob. We had people to rescue and vampires to kill.

**A/N I'll try to post ASAP, but I have to catch up on my homework and I have to get better. **


	9. Greetings Victoria

We made our plans and took off. We found the newborns separated in the forest nearby. I used my shield to mask their scents, giving us an advantage. I'd learned to cover others with my shield during my stay in Volterra. It had been a long process, but Aro had liked me even more after that. I would've been able to protect him from Edward.

It was unbelievably easy to kill some of the vampires. We burned nine of them. We had one problem however. One of them had been in the home of a man, drinking his blood and killing him. We found three children in his basement. Triplets, at the age of five.

Jacob and Leah found out about my conversation with Seth and they were… Well, I have no idea to be honest. They didn't look angry or disappointed. I had a feeling that they were still confused, or just stubborn. Either way, I had them right were I wanted them.

"Where's your mother?" I asked one of the little ones.

"I don't know, the man upstairs took us away from mummy and daddy. She's at home."

God, they were kidnapped. I hadn't planned this, but it was very convenient. It was much better than my original plan, in which I would've broken my promise and acquired another three enemies.

"I want you to get them home," I ordered. This was perfect. They would need at least two days to find the parents and bring the children to them. I was facing Victoria alone, just like I promised.

"What about you? You can't fight eleven vampires on your own!"

"I will do what I have to and you will do what you have to. These children need to go home. They need their mum and dad. That is the only thing that you can do for me, Jacob."

"But…"

"I'm not changing my mind. You're going."

We fought like that for a while until I finally got them to cave in. I turned on my heel and started to run back to the perimeter. I was there soon enough. I hid in a tree. I was looking for something, another vampire. I was as alert as I could be and I heard the first vampire. I was frozen in the tree. I didn't move, and I stopped breathing, even if it was highly uncomfortable.

It was the fastest vampire apparently. I jumped down from my position and ripped his head off before jumping back into the tree. I was able to kill number two and three also, they stood no chance.

The others arrived in larger groups and smaller intervals, but they stopped when they saw the headless bodies.

I saw Victoria make her way through the small group and inspect the bodies. There were eight of them left now, and I was dead. I couldn't handle eight vampires on my own. I still remember an experienced James being ripped apart by the Cullens. I was the one to have those odds against me.

I made sure that Victoria was in place when I jumped her and grabbed her head. I was thrown off before I could finish my move and I was grabbed by three vampires who restrained me. They forced me to look into Victoria's eyes and I glared.

"Well, well, well, look whom we have here. My little Runaway. How are you doing, sweetie?"

"I've been better, mummy."

I detested her nicknames for me. She talked to me like I was her pet. I was disgusted when she used her hand to brush a strand of hair behind my ear. Her touch was not cold, but it still send chills down my spine. I used the sarcasm to enrage her. She dropped her act when she was mad.

"Why are you here? The last time I saw you was in Seattle."

"I wanted a change of scenery."

"What are you doing this close to the Cullens? I wasn't aware that you knew them."

"It's none of your business," I sneered.

"I think it is. I am going to kill every single one of them. First Carlisle, when he's at work. Alice when she's shopping. I'm going to kill them one by one. They'll be dead before you know it. And I'm going to let you watch when I kill them."

That was it. She would not get away with this. I would not let anything happen to them. Not to Carlisle, not to Alice, not to anyone. That's when I felt it burn again.

I can still remember the pain I felt when the venom was spreading. This rivalled it. It started at the bite, and I slowly felt it spreading to my other limbs. I flinched in pain and Victoria stared at me, confused about my reaction. I felt my body heat up and screamed.

It was almost déjà vu. I could feel the pain, but it wasn't getting worse. I wouldn't have been conscious had I been human, but as a vampire, I had no choice but to feel this pain. The burning in my veins. I longed for oblivion. For the first time I wanted to be human again. To escape the unbearable pain. I didn't think that I would ever want mortality now that I'd had a taste of immortality. I didn't know then that I would ever want the clumsy Bella instead of the new me.

I felt my body burn and I screamed again. I wanted to beg, but I could not form a coherent word, let alone a sentence. I felt the arms holding me let go and I held up my hands in front of me. I wanted to know where the pain came from, I wanted to know how to stop it.

I panicked when I saw it. My hands were on fire. It didn't burn my hands. It didn't do any damage, except for the pain. There were flames dancing all over my body, and I was not dead yet.

**A/N Before you think that Bella has a superpower, don't. This will be explained in one or two chapters. I hope you enjoyed the chapter.**


	10. Cara

I admired my hands and the rest of my body, having a hard time keeping my eyes open. The flames licked my skin, but they didn't turn me into ash. I searched for the vampires that held me seconds ago and saw only dust where they should've been. The stench of burned flesh invaded my senses and I turned my eyes back to Victoria.

I saw fear in her eyes, but she could not leave. She needed to take revenge and she could not do that while running from me. I slowly felt the pain subside and took a deep breath. It was still there, but I could at least function. I blinked and looked at the newborns. They where fleeing. Fire is an enemy of the vampire, we avoid it as much as possible. I had the upper hand.

Victoria and I where the only ones left in the meadow and we circled each other. I had her alone, she couldn't take out the Cullens anymore. As I felt the anger leave me, the pain did too. I looked at my hand and saw the fire disappear. We were equals now.

I watched her carefully, not wanting to be taken by surprise. She made her move and I jumped to the side. She was angry, and that made her rash and sloppy. I kicked her and she fell into the water. I pinned her to the ground and she lashed out at me. I felt her nails scratch my face and grabbed her neck with both of my hands.

I saw fear in her eyes. She knew she was going to die and she couldn't do anything about it. I couldn't help but give her my final words.

"This is for my broken leg."

I saw Victoria realizing what I meant and understanding dawned in her eyes.

Her last word? "Bella?"

I ripped her head of her body. I burned the newborns first and Victoria last. That was when I noticed, we where inside the perimeter. And Victoria's last thought had been my name, and Edward had heard it.

I made sure that the bodies where no longer recognizable. I heard the Cullens come and listened to the seven pairs of feet touching the ground. I made sure that my shield was active and stood in the middle of the meadow, just waiting.

They entered through the trees and crouched. They were just as I remembered, only much more detailed. The colours where bright and they shone in the sunlight. They sparkled and I saw the colours of the rainbow on my watch. Carlisle was at the head of the group with Edward.

I felt hurt. He left me there with Victoria and no friends. He made his family leave me. He didn't love me. All my old insecurities came crashing down on me. I should've left when I had the chance. They wouldn't have found me if I'd been smart enough to get away. They couldn't smell me, and I could've been out of sight and they wouldn't have seen me for decades to come.

It was too late though. I just needed to get out off here. The Volturi was still looking for me. I never wanted to use that power again. It's price was too big to pay.

"Who are you?" Edward asked.

I was relieved and somewhere disappointed. He didn't recognize me. It was perfect for my plans, but not for my heart. I thought that he would've been able to recognize me anywhere. I didn't let it deter me from my purpose. I had to leave.

"That is of no importance, I will be going now. I'm sorry for bothering you."

I turned on my heel and ran. I ran faster than I'd ever done, and yet, it made no difference. Edward was the fastest of them all, faster than me. I was miles removed from their home when he caught up with me and grabbed my arm.

His touch paralysed me. I couldn't move, I couldn't breathe. I composed myself and turned to face him, removing my arm from his grip.

"What the fuck are you doing?" I asked him.

"Whom did you kill? I saw the ashes."

I heard the rest of the Cullens close-by and gave in, I wouldn't win this with fifteen words. I sighed and kept silent. He seemed to understand and waited for his family. I suddenly noticed how close we where and I sat down. Getting my personal space back.

I saw the Cullens appear between the trees once again and stood. I needed to leave as soon as possible.

"Whom?" he asked again.

"A redhead, she goes by the name Victoria."

"Why did you kill her?"

He was suspicious apparently, but I wasn't going to play that game any longer. We were equals now.

"I don't have to answer to you. This is not your problem. Everything has been solved and I am leaving."

"Please miss, I'm sorry for my son's rude behaviour, but we know Victoria. Edward killed her mate while defending his own."

I don't get why Carlisle called me his mate. Was he justifying James' death by making me think that it was mate against mate instead of human pet versus tracker?

Edward told me what I meant to him, and I wasn't going to think that there was something between us.

"Could you tell us your name?" Carlisle asked.

"I was called the Runaway during my time in Seattle. Aro calls me Cara and the rest of the Volturi call me Bella. "

I was looking intently at Edward when I said it and saw a blank mask. He showed no emotions and I had gotten no further in his reasoning of leaving me.

"And may I ask what you want to be called?"

"Cara will do." I said. Bella would only irritate me and them and Runaway was not exactly an acceptable name.

"Cara, please join us in our home and we can discuss everything then. Unless you have somewhere else to be?"

I was sorely tempted to say yes. I wanted to be part of this family, but I couldn't. I didn't want to live a lie. I didn't want to be near Edward without telling him what he had done to me. I wanted him to know the consequences of his actions.

"I'm sorry, but I have a trio of wolves waiting for me."

"Wolves?" Alice asked astonished.

"They are friends, sort of. They helped three kidnapped children to get back to their parents. They are on their way back. We will leave here soon after."

"Of course. If you want to, you're welcome to stay here for a while."

"Thank you, we'll probably meet again."

"We probably will," I smiled and ran. Noone followed me this time and I heard Edward argue with Carlisle before going to the place I would meet the small pack again.

A/N I am actually quite disappointed with this chapter. It refuses to work with me. Well, I hope you aren't disappointed, because I love your positive feedback. I'll try to post another chapter this weekend, and I'm going to see Pirates of the Caribbean 4! Yay!


	11. The beginning of the end

**A/N I'm sorry for the wait, but I've been sick for the past month and I haven't felt like writing. The next update will probably be next week.**

When the wolves came I immediately noticed that something was wrong. Seth was walking between Leah and Jake and I had a bad feeling about it. They halted in front of me and phased.

"What happened?" I asked Seth. The other two weren't looking at each other and Seth looked upset with them. Seeing as the other two ignored me it was Seth who answered me.

"They kissed and Leah doesn't want a relationship because she's convinced that he will imprint on someone else and Jacob told her that she could do the same and they haven't talked ever since. "

"Great. Are the kids save?"

"They are with their mother at the moment. She was happy to see them back after all she's been through."

I was glad to hear that. Children should never be taken from their parents, if they could stop it from happening.

"What happened while we were away?"

"They've been taken care of."

"Please, just tell me what's going on. I'm the one that's staying with you. I have the right to know."

I don't know why, but I felt my anger bubbling to the surface.

"You are here voluntarily, Seth. I never told you to stay, and I sure as hell didn't ask you to sacrifice your life for me."

I had to calm down. The burning was starting again and I didn't want to have a repeat performance. I took a deep breath and told the wolves to leave.

"What?" Seth exclaimed. "Why?"

"Our alliance was temporary. You are in danger as long as you're with me and I don't want you here."

I knew that it was pointless to argue with Seth, so I faced Jacob. He was the Alpha after all.

"You need to leave."

"I agree. You have to many enemies, and I don't trust you not to stab us in our backs."

"I will never kill someone from behind. I'm not a coward like you."

I needed to get them away from me. Wolves were not good company for our kind, and especially not ones like Jake.

"Fine, let's go."

It was an order of an Alpha and the other two couldn't refuse. I had no doubt in my mind that Seth was arguing with Jake and Leah at the very moment.

All of us took off and went east. I knew that they would be going south soon, though, where I would be heading north. I used my shield one last time to evade the Cullens and watched the puppies leave for Forks.

I was too engrossed to notice that I was not alone. Once I turned around, ready to run even further away from the Volturi, I came face to face with Jasper Cullen.

Seeing him this close up made me wince. I could see every single scar on his face and arms. He seemed confident enough to stand straight instead of crouched and I tilted my head to the side.

They were wearing their baseball attire and had frozen in the middle of the game. I could see Alice with the small ball in her hand and thought about our time together. The shopping trips, the sleepovers and the fact that she was my best friend.

I raised my shield to cover everyone except for Edward. I saw him look at me and he looked like I was the bane of his existence.

"What did you do?" he asked.

"In my experience, you are more likely to discover something when you have a lot of facts. You have your own observations and theirs. I don't like cheating, not when someone else does it."

"How did you do it?"

"It's my power. I'm pretty sure that it works on everyone."

"What are you talking about?" the petite girl with the ball shouted.

"I can't hear anyone."

"Are you deaf?" Emmett asked.

"His mind, Emmett," Rose whispered, crouching. She obviously didn't trust me.

"He's fine."

"Cara, thought that you'd gone to find your friends."

"It was necessary for them to leave. There will be a lot of trouble for them if they meet the Volturi."

"The Volturi will find them eventually," Carlisle said with a small smile.

"The Volturi is looking for me, I would like it if they could live a decade longer."

"What have you done?" Jasper was suspicious immediately, and the other started to get into a defensive position.

"I know something about Aro that others don't. He wants to erase the story by ending my existence."

"I am friends with Aro. I will talk to him if you stay with us."

"Do you have a death wish? Do you know what it would mean to them if I were to be found residing in your home? They have you on a list. You're a powerful and dangerous clan, they want to kill you all. They only need to know what you've been up to, and you're over. It doesn't matter if the human still lives or not."

I jumped to the side to evade Edward's right hand, but he had me pinned to a tree with his left in no time.

"What do you mean? Still lives or not."

"You don't know?"

I was surprised. I'd thought that he would at least let Alice keep an eye on me.

"Don't know what?" he asked angrily.

"It's the reason why the wolves joint me for a while, your human's truck was found at the cliff during a storm. Her body was never found."

A human would've collapsed, but Edward could do nothing but stare. I stared right back into his black eyes. My instinct got the better of me and I removed myself from his iron grip and made sure that he was still at the other end of the clearing.

He just stood there, the world forgotten. I haven't seen him express any other emotion besides sadness and anger. I suddenly heard him whisper.

"Why did she do it?" he asked.

"They found a note in her car, which was the main reason that they didn't look for her."

"Do you know what it says?" Alice asked me.

I closed my eyes, remembering what I'd written down and what the wolves had taken because of the references to our world, not what my father had found.

"It's better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all: From Alfred Lord Tennyson's poem _In Memoriam_. I don't really agree. You cannot miss what you never had. Life would've been easier for me if I hadn't fallen in love. I wouldn't be missing the world I never should've been part of in the first place. It hurts too much. My life has been lived. I have nothing left. I believed that immortality was a beautiful thing, and even though I haven't experienced it, I believe that it is a curse. To live forever like this is not a gift, not when you can't be with your family, when everyone you hold dear leaves. I was always the odd one out, even in their world. It is time to start anew, and I know of only one way. In three hours, I will no longer have a beating heart. I will no longer have to eat, which hurts my stomach all the time. I will no longer have responsibilities. In a few hours, I'll be free. "

We stood there silently, each grieving in their own way. I couldn't be angry seeing this. It is obvious that Edward lied to me that day in the forest. He loved me, and I didn't know how I felt about that.

One by one, they went to the house that I could see on the hill. Carlisle and Esme were the last two to leave and I followed them, wanting to make sure that they would get to ask some questions.

The whole house was silent for two days. We were seated at the dining room table and I kept the others shielded. If Edward did indeed love me, I wanted him to be alone in his thoughts.

"Did you meet her?" Carlisle asked.

"I've met her briefly. I see myself in her reflection. We were much alike."

It was time to get serious.

"Who knows about her?" I asked quietly.

"Why do you ask?" Rose glared at me. It was probably because she thought that I shouldn't have been there in the first place.

"Answer the question." I ordered

"We do, Victoria did and the Denali clan does." Emmett answered.

"Where are they?"

"In Denali, why do you think it's called the Denali clan." Edward said, his velvet voice laced with sarcasm.

"Eleazar is in Volterra though, Aro had an assignment for him. He probably meant you."

Shit. That was the first thought that entered my mind. The second was: I have no reason to leave.

"Why are you asking this."

"Aro's been looking for a reason to kill you for decades. If he's read Eleazar's mind, you're all dead for associating with a human and leaving her alone while she knows about who we are. "

"What!"

"We're all dead."

**A/N If anything isn't clear just say so and I'll explain with a PM or in my next A/N. I've tried to explain that the pain that comes with Bella's firepower hurts so much that she doesn't want to use it. I will explain how this is not a second power in the next chapters. I don't know how long this is going to be, but I think at least another 4 chapters.**


	12. My plan

**A/N I want to apologize to all of you. I've been sick for the past month and I can't concentrate. I have headaches and the medicine I get don't seem to help much. I wrote this to try and satisfy you and I hope that I'll be able to write a better chapter next week, but don't expect too much. Having constant headaches for a month makes me grumpy and irritated and I hope that it hasn't influenced this chapter.**

I was sitting on the white couch with my eyes closed when I stood up and grabbed the little annoying idiot that was wearing a hole in the carpet with his or her pacing.

I opened my eyes and saw that I had grabbed Edward Cullen of all people. I stared at him and he returned my gaze. He tried to pull his arm away and continue pacing, but I held on tight. He tried staring me down and he finally relaxed when that didn't work either.

I let go and observed the others in the room. I could almost feel the frustration. They were all thinking of ways to stay out off the hands of the Volturi. I could see they didn't have any luck, though. "So, what are we going to do now?" Someone had to ask it.

"Running away is no option, neither is staying here," Jasper said immediately.

I wanted to say that I was sorry for dragging them into this, but I didn't. They dragged me into this, although they didn't know that. They were just as guilty as I was. They would've been killed soon anyway. You can't evade the Volturi for long, especially when you live with a clan of that size.

"Than there's one option left, we should go to them," I said. It was suddenly so clear, such an easy solution. We could come during the day and kill many of them before beheading Aro

"It might work," Alice said. "But I can't see it clearly, something is making a vague spot."

Everybody looked at me at the moment she said this.

"Hey, it's not me doing that," I said quickly.

"No, it's not Cara. I can see her clearly, it's something else."

"Would the Volturi have a new member, someone just like you, blocking others' powers?"

"Doubtful, they would've been bragging had that been true, it's possible that there are wolves present at the scene, they will come looking for me."

"Why are we even considering going to them? We'll be dead before we reach the gate," Edward reasoned.

"What if we get help?" Emmett asked.

"No!" I exclaimed before could stop myself.

There were too many people involved in this already. The Volturi was stronger than ever. They had the most powerful vampires in their clan. We were dead anyway. We would be able to make a small dent in their numbers and would perish in the same attack.

The very clear idea I'd just had was suddenly idiotic. Even with surprise on our side, there was no chance that history would be written by us, because we wouldn't be the victors. We would be the losers. The reason for our attack would never be clear and the Volturi would make an example of us.

The only way we would win was to use my old strategy. Eliminate as many as possible before the final battle. But that was not possible, for we could not go and kill every little traveling group. We needed someone from the inside. Inside….

"We can stay here."

"Didn't I just say that staying is not an option?" Jasper said.

"I have to go. Call me once you know when they're coming. I'll be visiting a friend."

"You're just leaving?"

"Pretty much, I'll be here as soon as you call me."

"You'd better." Edward obviously didn't trust me. I could disappear and live until I was found, which could take centuries.

I snuck into Volterra the next day and used the shadow to keep away from the light that would immediately put me in the spotlight. I waited until the sky turned black and a group of vampires left their headquarters.

The one vampire I needed was right in front of me, but I waited. His bodyguards stood at his side. I followed them to the airport and trapped them when they entered a small room where they could wait without killing everyone in sight, because of the insane amounts of blood present.

They heard me close the door and their heads turned to look at me. They didn't smell blood, which meant that I was not human, but they couldn't smell me at all, which confused them. Their leader was not confused at all, though. The man smiled at me and I smiled back.

"Hello Marcus, long time no see."


	13. Friends

**A/N I'm still sick, but I've managed to write this down. The next chapter will be more informative. That will take at least a week though, I think. Unless I write this weekend.**

"Coccolona?" Marcus exclaimed.

"What did I tell you, Marcus?" I asked annoyed.

"You are not to use any terms of endearment, especially if they mean 'cuddly one'," Marcus recited playfully.

"Why do you keep using it, than?"

"Please Cocco, have some fun."

"Fun, says the one who sits on a chair all day, bored out of his mind."

"What are you doing in Italy? They're looking for you."

"I need your help. The Cullens will be attacked soon. I'm staying with them and I have promised to help them."

"Trouble keeps finding you, doesn't it? Alright, Bella, what do you need me to do?"

That's right. Marcus is the only one that knows who I am. Don't ask me how he found out, because he won't tell me.

"I need you to start eliminating. We will be able to take down a group of thirty."

"Are you crazy? What's your master plan?"

"It is a specific group of thirty that can be beaten. You'll know when the time comes. For now, I need you to take out the vampires on this list."

I handed him the list and wanted to walk to the door when arms wrapped around me from behind.

"Come on, Cocco. Can you at least give me a hug before you vanish?"

I sighed and returned the hug. I felt guilty. He didn't know about Didyme, and he would only know when I told everyone. I removed myself from his embrace and made my way back to the Cullens, not looking back.

The plane ride was uneventful. I thought about my week with the Volturi. How Marcus had been intrigued by my presence from the first moment onwards. We had spent most days talking about our opinions on matters. Humans mostly, but we also talked about his life with the Volturi. He seemed to be arguing with his brothers a lot lately. He was under the impression that they were hiding something from him, and the guilt made me close my eyes, hoping for unconsciousness. I knew it would never come, but it helped me cope.

The plane landed and I was just hiring a car when Alice called.

"I'm outside."

And hung up.

The girl's gift was extremely annoying at times like this, but I made sure my shield was intact before I got inside.

"What did you do? What decision did you make?"

"I merely met someone that could help us."

"Boyfriend?" Alice asked curiously. I loved that girl. Her mind seemed so innocent at times that I couldn't help but smile.

"Do you think that my decision to kiss someone will help our little problem?" I asked, my face serious.

Alice stuttered almost imperceptibly. "Of course, not! But who is it?"

"He's someone I've grown close to, but it's better if you never figure that out."

"So, not your boyfriend. Who is the lucky guy than? And where is he?"

"I was on my way to see him when you found me, actually. He and I are fighting and I am not very happy at the moment. He told me he didn't love me and left. I want to take revenge."

I didn't like lying to Alice. I tried to keep telling the truth so she wouldn't feel hurt when she found out who I was. That would happen eventually.

"Can I help?" Alice offered.

"You don't want to."

Alice frowned and started to look at the future while I decided that it was safer for both of us if I started driving.

Alice stopped looking after a while and we started talking about the 'mutts' as she called them. They blocked her vision and that alerted her to the fact that there was one coming in the near future. We switched topics and we came across shopping and parties. We were laughing and enjoying ourselves immensely

I parked the car and raced Alice to the house.

We tore through the woods and laughed when I started to throw obstacles in her way. She had to jump and duck and we both look ridiculous when we rolled on the ground with twigs and leaves on our clothes and in our hair. Our jeans had both lost patches of whatever jeans are made of and our shirts had pretty much ripped in two, exposing our stomachs.

The sun was actually shining and Alice and I sparkled, the small rainbows of colors danced across our bodies and we kept rolling around and laughed even harder when we rolled into the small lake that was covered with green leaves. We resurfaced and got out of the water.

We strolled back to the house and were met by a family of annoyed vampires.

"Have you been fighting?" Carlisle asked.

"Of course not! We were just fooling around. We were having fun!" Alice defended me.

"What happened to your clothes?" Emmett laughed.

"We tore them to shreds having hot lesbian sex." I replied.

Everyone looked at me and Alice and I laughed merrily.

"Come on, guys. I was kidding."

I looked at them one by one and decided that I was not wearing enough clothes when I saw Edward looking at me. I was grateful for my newly acquired beauty, but I was still glad that I'd lost my ability to blush.

We shared a laugh and I rushed inside to change. I realised at that moment that I'd left my bag of clothes in the car. I started walking back to the car, but was stopped before I had the chance to leave the house.

Rosalie stood in front of me and handed me a set of clothes. It was a gesture that I wouldn't have expected for her, when I saw that she had an ulterior motive. She wanted to talk to me.

"You are right to do this you know."

I had no idea what she was talking about. Well, I had too many ideas to be honest, and therefore I replied with a thank you.

She gave me a smile and I went into the bathroom to change.

I found Carlisle and Esme in the living room. They merely smiled and nodded to me. I found Jasper on the front porch. He was sitting in a chair and looked up when I joined him.

"The others are out hunting, the three of us went yesterday," he explained.

"Will they be back soon?"

"They will be here when Marcus visits tomorrow. You can explain everything when he's here."

He closed his eyes and I was left standing. How did he know?

Alice.

**A/N I needed a little bonding chapter between the girls. Part of the mystery will be solved in the next chapter, but I wanted to post this first. I wanted Alice and the others to be friends before she gets involved with Edward again. Which means that the next chapter will have an Edward / Bella scene and Marcus will visit. I didn't want them to like Bella because Edward does, I wanted all of them to like her.**


	14. Calm down

**A/N I know that I said that Marcus would be in this chapter, but I thought that I should do a chapter between Bella and Edward and Jasper first. I wanted Jasper to use his knowledge of newborns because Jazz didn't get the chance to do it with Victoria this time. I want to give all of them more lines and I am working on that. This chapter was long enough and I decided that the next one will hopefully be about Marcus. I've noticed that this story is going to be longer than I'd first anticipated, and I hope that none of you will mind.**

Jasper was content apparently. He was projecting the emotion and I was slowly relaxing too. I took a seat next to him and closed my eyes.

It was nice to let my guard down for once. I'd had my guard up ever since I was changed, and I was tired. I had kept everything a secret. Months of watching exactly what I was saying, weeks of hard work. It was all coming to an end.

I had had my fun with Alice today. She genuinely liked me, she'd been a friend when I needed to relax for a while this morning.

Sitting her next to her husband made me think back to my birthday. He had attacked me because he wanted my blood more than anyone. Only Edward thought I smelt better. Even though I was Edward's singer, I smelt good to all of them. Better than others. They had to leave the room when I bled. Only Carlisle could resist it, and he's had centuries to practice.

I felt sympathy for Jasper. He'd tasted so much human blood, the smell had to be irresistible for him. I hadn't been able to resist the blood of an animal when they came near and I hadn't fed in a couple of days. I couldn't imagine what it was like to want human blood like that.

I still hadn't wanted to kill a human. Their smell almost repelled me. I felt like I was going to faint without fainting when I was close to one. I guess that it was a side effect of being able to smell it as a human. It held nothing to the addicting smell of the wild beasts that roamed the forests. Their smell was alluring and I needed is as soon as possible.

In the forest here, I was strained to hold myself in check. I was fidgeting all the time, and I was sure that they'd noticed. The contentment I was bathing in right now lowered my resistance, and as soon as I saw the lonely deer I attacked. I had tried to hold my breath, but my eyes had widened and I'd lost control as soon as it walked into my sight.

The deer stood no chance and was soon drained from its blood. I was barely aware of Jasper trying to calm me down with arms wrapped around me and calling for his family.

When I was done I noticed another animal close by and I attacked again, leaving his arms. Before I could reach it, however, I was stopped. Three pairs of arms surrounded me and I panicked. Enemies. I lashed out blindly, and I felt the arms around me let go. I heard screams that told them to let me go and tried to recognize the voice. I was blind. I could not control my actions, my instincts took over.

One new pair of arms, the fourth set, reappeared around me. The first sets had been Edward, Emmett and Carlisle. The forth pair was Jasper.

He calmed me down by whispering soothing words in my ears. He kept my arms in front of me and made sure that I didn't feel restrained. His voice was the one thing I concentrated on. I tried to relax and took deep breaths. Suddenly, the arms were replaced and I tensed again before I suppressed my instincts and relaxed again.

I felt myself being brought to a room and I was lying on a bed when I came to my senses. I hadn't been released yet, but I didn't have to look behind me to see who he was. This position was familiar to me. I'd lain like this for days. Edward held me from behind while I snuggled into his chest. A blanket separated our bodies and I was even more content. I was breathing slowly, carefully while trying to keep my shield up. It had been failing when my instincts took over and I had to repair it fast.

Once I'd succeeded I almost stood up when I decided that I was comfortable. It had been a while since I enjoyed myself like this. I wasn't moving.

We layed like that for an hour until Edward started talking. We didn't move, though.

"What happened?"

The man could never stop, could he? He asked question after question and he always got me to answer them truthfully. Eventually.

"I was thirsty."

"Why didn't you go with us?"

"I shouldn't be in the forest for long periods of time, too many animals live there."

"As long as they're not humans, it shouldn't matter that you kill one."

"It isn't the kill that I worry about, it is the aftermath that I can't control."

"Jasper agreed with me that you looked like a newborn aching for human blood, and he knows a lot about this."

"That is partially true."

"What do you mean?"

"I ache for animal blood, humans don't appeal to me."

"Do you want me to ask about the fact that you don't like human blood, or that you didn't deny the fact that you're a newborn."

I missed this. He acted like he didn't know me. He tried to figure out what I was thinking by asking me any question he could come up with. They had been simple when I was human, he had upped the level this time. He wanted to know what I was thinking, but he didn't have to worry about breaking me when he played with my hair. I only noticed that because he had to move his elbow to do that.

"It has something to do with my transformation. I did not change like most do. You could say that I am one of a kind."

"Exactly how old are you?"

"I'm eighteen."

"Since?"

"A few months ago."

"So you're not even a year old yet?"

"You could say that. You only notice it when I'm close to animals, and because my eyes are golden most assume that I'm at least one year old."

"When did they start changing colours?

"They never did, I woke up with these eyes."

"You did?"

"I did." I sighed and looked down. I heard voices downstairs and cursed them.

I cursed them because Edward's arms let go and he stood up. He extended his hand and I grabbed it, seeing no way to convince him to lie down again. We both walked downstairs, and I was ready to face the world.

**A/N I hope that you enjoyed the chapter. I hope that I'll be able to post another next week. I'm planning to rewrite six stories, because I want at least a review a story. I'm still sick, so don't expect a lot from me. Thanx again for your reviews and I'm hoping to see more of them, they keep me writing. I also appreciate some grammatical advise, because I'm not a native speaker and I want to improve my English.**


	15. To face the music

**A/N I wrote this while listening to GLEE's somewhere only we know, which was a big inspiration for me. I couldn't have finished this chapter without it. It took a while longer than I'd expected, but here it is! **

I removed my hand from Edward's and looked around, knowing that I had to tell them, even if I didn't want to. Edward deserved the truth, and after that I'd leave. I still loved him, but I couldn't trust him. Maybe later, when I'd seen what I wanted to see on my travels around the world, I'd look for him.

Marcus was alone. I didn't know how he'd accomplished that feat, but it made me glad to see the man. I ran to him and hugged him, thanking him for his help and hoping that this wasn't my last. That he would forgive me for keeping his mate's killer a secret.

The others were sitting on the couch and the surrounding chairs. Alice was not searching the future, which surprised me. I thought that she would want to know what my plan was going to be, but she wasn't even trying.

Jasper, who was sitting next to his wife, was merely smiling. He seemed to be more content lately. He was relaxed and his powers were under control. His eyes were a beautiful shade of gold and I smiled too.

Rosalie gave me a nod when I reached her and Emmett had his arm around her, a grin plastered on his face. He winked at me and I felt Jasper trying to project the confusion away from me.

Carlisle and Esme were waiting patiently while they studied their children. It was still astounding that Carlisle could resist human blood so easily. I couldn't even have a resemblance of control when an animal wasn't bleeding, let alone when it was. I admired him so much, just like his wife.

Esme had so much love, it had been great to be the child for once. To be cared for and to go to sleep knowing that she was the one that would cook and clean the house. My mother had always needed mothering, and I was the only one that could fulfill that role.

My parents. I missed them so much. They were both a big part of my life and I regretted the fact that I wouldn't see them again. Marcus had stepped in when I was breaking down under my façade and helped me achieve my goal. And here he stood, ready to give up his throne for me.

Edward had taken a seat by now and I stood frozen. Could I do this? Could I give up what I'd worked so hard for? Could I start over for the third time? Would it be enough?

Before I could make my decision, Marcus gently laid his hand on my shoulder and squeezed it lightly. It gave me the confidence I needed, paired with the waves of courage Jasper was projecting.

"I owe you all an explanation. For my behavior earlier, for my secrecy, and for the lies I've told you," I started.

I sighed and tried to find a place to start. I decided that the beginning would suffice and tried to tell the story without them knowing it was about me.

"A couple of months ago I was bitten by a nomad. Another vampire sucked the venom out off me and left. I was fine for a few weeks until my boyfriend left me. I was pathetic. I stopped eating, nightmares kept me awake and I had no energy left. "

"The human body makes antibodies for the venom when bitten. The venom works to fast and you're dead before you know it. Those antibodies where still in my body, and they're made by the venom. When my immune system weakened, the venom was slowly changing me, because there was nothing to stop it. "

"I became faster and paler. My skin didn't bruise anymore, and I was eating my meat raw. It took me a while to understand that I was changing. I left everything behind and ran into the forest. I was in there for very little time when a doe crossed my path. The change took very little time and after I fed I tried to live my life."

"I noticed that humans didn't bother me, but I went into a frenzy when an animal came close. I met Victoria and ran again. She was stronger and more experienced, so that was my only option. I earned some money, got a small room and started learning how to survive. I was confronted by Victoria a number of times and she got obsessed with me. She wanted to know who I was, where I came from."

"She started making a newborn army. I wanted to get more knowledge and started hunting them down. I got my share of nicknames and I met Demitri. I was brought to the Volturi and was asked to join the guard. I played a few pranks and got closer to Marcus when I was attacked. I went here and met the wolves. We stayed together for a while, but they had to leave when three little children were the prisoners of one of the victims. I took Victoria and her newborns down and that was when you joined me."

I took a deep, unnecessary breath and finished the rushed story. It would be easier to answer their questions anyway. They would want more than an explanation, and I didn't know if I would be able to give them that. I had barely been able to have this talk, let alone tell them what I thought and felt. Here goes nothing.

"I am known as the Runaway, Cara and Bella. I am a daughter and a friend. And I believed that I was a daughter, sister and loved one to you all. I'm Isabella Marie Swan."

I looked around to see their reactions, but I didn't see them because their were two words ringing in my ears.

"We know."

**A/N I hope you have enjoyed the chapter And I'll try to update next week, but there will probably be a delay. **


	16. We know, and I do too

**A/N As promised, there was a delay. I had to come up with this chapter, because I have not yet planned an end. I went to Harry Potter (thrice in the past week, I know, pathetic. But it's good!) My birthday arrived, as did my grandmother's. Also, I won't update in the upcoming (3) weeks, because I'll be on holiday (to Greece where I have very little chance of an internet connection that works)! I'll try to update immediately once I'm back though. Well, enough of my rambling, enjoy!**

Alice's words kept ringing in my ears. Her voice repeating the two words that changed my whole world once again, turned it upside down until I no longer knew what was up and what was down. 'We know'. How could they know? And who were 'they'. Alice and Jasper, or someone else?

"How?" I breathed. I decided that I didn't want to know why she didn't tell me.

"I see the future, Bella. I knew what you'd look like when you became one," Alice whispered. The apology in her eyes only fuelled my anger.

"Whom did you tell?" I asked angrily. Had she told everyone?

"I didn't, they found out on their own," Alice defended.

"How?" I asked, facing them. I looked them in the eye. I avoided looking at Edward and waited until one of them had the courage to tell me.

"Your emotions, Bella." Jasper didn't elaborate, and I was grateful for that. I didn't want anyone to know my feelings, especially when I didn't understand most of them. I nodded my head in appreciation and moved on.

"You did not commit suicide." Esme had committed, or tried to commit, suicide all those years ago. "You're too strong," she finished. It was like she expected me to understand what she meant. I was not strong, not strong enough. I'd given in to hate and vengeance, for which I was more ashamed than if I'd actually jumped of that cliff. It didn't make sense to me, but it obviously did to her. It confused me more than it helped me. It did feel good to hear Esme speak those words. It gave me the feeling I'd done at least something right.

Esme , like Jasper, didn't care to explain things further. I was not as grateful as I'd been with Jazz, but decided to look at the man next to Esme.

Carlisle was trying to keep everything under control it seemed. He was glancing from son to daughter and back again. He had nothing to worry about except for me though. I was the one ready to scream and punch and break some vampire bones, the others were as calm as I looked on the outside.

I almost let my shield down to accept the waves of peace that were colliding with my shield, but I resisted because it would make my mind vulnerable to probing.

Carlisle, meanwhile, was rubbing Esme's arm in a comforting gesture. I'd never heard the woman talk about her past with so much emotion, it must've shaken her.

Noticing that he was next in the not so straight line I was questioning vampires, he spoke. "I have a build-up resistance for blood. I barely smell it when I concentrate. This enables me to recognize the scent of one's skin, instead of blood. Even now you no longer have that blood in your body, your scent stayed the same."

That explained a lot. I'd adjusted my shield to protect myself from mental intrusions and emotional manipulation, so as not to scare the vampires. Our instinct is to kill someone when they have no scent. It is easy to resist, but extremely uncomfortable. It was mutually beneficial when I modified the shield.

Rosalie was smiling sadly at me when I turned my eyes to stare at her. It was unexpected, but welcome. She was still as beautiful as always. Her hands rested on her lap, just like her eyes, when she spoke.

"I know what it's like to contemplate suicide." Multiple gasps echoed through the silent room. Emmett tightened his grip on her leg and the others just sat there. I wasn't all that surprised however. Both Edward and Carlisle didn't want to have this life and wanted to end it. Rosalie had a past that few could understand. She didn't want to be a vampire, and it was no surprise that she thought about it. If Alice hadn't seen the future she would have, even that happy little girl with no past would have done it. It was a horrible thought and I wanted nothing more than to just pretend this never happened.

"I wrote hundreds of notes, letters, that I burned when I finished. The final goodbye isn't the hardest; it's seeing them for the last time, when they don't know that it is the last time, that is the hardest. I walked out the door so many times, but I always came back. I was not going to live in the past when my present was brighter. "

"Your letter was not a goodbye, it was not permanent. You worded it so carefully that I knew that you never planned to do it." She closed her eyes and recited one part of the note I'd left in the car months ago.

"To live forever like this is not a gift. You implied that you were immortal already. Once you know what to look for, it was obvious what happened to you. You are doing the right thing you know. Everything will work out eventually."

I contemplated her words and nodded slowly. It was remarkable how observant vampires were. It gave a different perspective on life. Everything was clearer, like the fog on your glasses had been removed.

Emmett was quiet, which was unusual. He'd made no jokes or otherwise offending comments about anyone in the past few days. It worried me a lot.

"Emmett?" I called.

"I visited your grave the day you were buried."

I was speechless. Of all the vampires in this room, I never thought it would be Emmett that checked up on me. He was my big brother, but I hadn't done that bond justice.

"I sat at your grave for hours, and I kept trying to think of ways to prevent what had happened. You were so fragile, I should've protected you better. That was when one of the mutts tried to chase me away. It seemed that they'd discovered that your scent matched your human scent and that you were very much 'existing.'" He snorted. His tone was bitter and hurt.

"I knew who you were the moment you showed up. I didn't tell anyone, I let them grieve for something that hadn't happened. Did you even see Edward when he broke down!" he ended up shouting.

Emmett had every right to be mad, but I had every reason to hide what I did.

I was about to defend myself when Edward spoke up. "I knew already."

**A/N So….. Special thanx to madnessdownunder2, who's reviewed the most and who is the only one (and sadanimelover) to keep me writing this story. I would love some more feedback. Also thanx to my other reviewers (and every story and author and favorite alert I've gotten), I hope I'll have more in my inbox tomorrow . I know that there are plot-holes big enough to drive a truck through, but I hope that you'll be patient with me. I hate describing scenes/rooms and keeping track of everything that's going on with my life only makes me regret attempting a multi-chapter story and not finishing it before posting it. I have very few chapters left, and I hope that you'll keep reading till the end**


	17. Indifference and rage

**A/N I had to read my whole story again and come up with the moment Edward found out and what his heartbroken reactions meant if he already knew Bella wasn't dead. I annoy myself so much at times. Ugh…It's done, and the whole story is most likely getting worse because I'm losing interest because my readers are doing exactly the same thing. To prove that that isn't happening I won't post another chapter until I have two reviews for this chapter. Feel free to give me an idea because otherwise next chapter is going to be the battle and that will be it. Which means that I won't have to write the happily ever after epilogue or bonding chapters of pain and comfort (even though I can't kill off good guys I will think of something.) **

When Alice told me that they knew, I thought of just her and Jasper. When it turned out the others knew, I still thought that Edward didn't. Never once –not even for a minute- did I think that he'd found out.

Alice's words had turned my world around. They'd rang in my ears, but his did nothing. I was surprised, but it didn't feel that way. I felt… indifferent. So he'd known for a while already. It didn't matter anymore.

I was going to leave as soon as the Volturi had been beaten. And maybe I would be dead by then. I no longer cared. I couldn't manage the energy for _caring. _It was useless. I would never see him again once this week ended.

I sighed, drawing the attention of everyone that was staring at Edward in surprise. "We need a game plan."

I was about to tell them of my plans when Alice shouted;

"You're just dropping the subject?"

"Who I am and who knew doesn't matter if we don't survive this!"

"It does matter! You're my friend, my sister and you didn't even bother telling us that you were our Bella. You told us you were dead!"

"You are hypocrites, all of you. You left me behind because Edward was scared. You didn't reason with him, you didn't stay behind to make sure I left the forest alive! You damn near killed me, " I shouted back.

"I was aching all over for days. I couldn't eat, I couldn't sleep. Every time I closed my eyes I saw him leave and take you with him. I neglected my body so much that the contained venom in my body activated to make sure I didn't die! Charlie was helpless and he believes that I'm dead!" My voice lowered to a whisper.

"You should've left the moment you knew that I was his singer. It would've avoided all of this. I can't change the past, but I can explain my strategy and you can listen. That way we can have a future. This is all I'm going to say about the subject. "

Seeing that the next vampire was going to speak up I turned on my heel and walked out the door. Someone would follow, but it was better than facing them all at once. I needed them to calm down and didn't think Jasper would do it for me.

I heard footsteps behind me and braced myself for whoever came to get me back. I recognized the voice immediately and took back my previous statement; It would've been easier to face them all at once.

Edward Cullen stood next to me, watching the twilight that I was staring at as well. You've just got to love irony. Ah well, I had other things to focus on.

"Have they calmed down?" I asked indifferently.

"Bella, I'm sorry."

My indifference turned into rage without a second thought.

"You're sorry," I repeated incredulously.

He nodded sincerely and hopeful. He seemed hesitant though. I shot him a glance and decided that shouting without looking at him wouldn't give me any satisfaction. I faced him and took a step forward. He closed his eyes ready to kiss me and I smiled.

I would've done the same had I been in his place, but he should've known I wouldn't give up this easily. I placed my hands on his chest and pushed him to the ground. He was helpless as long as I still had the strength of a newborn.

I lowered my face to his and whispered in his ear.

"You thought that I would just forgive you once you said sorry. You left me in the forest. Laurent and Victoria were both close and there were wolves strolling through the woods. I was in pain all the time. I couldn't function anymore. I ran after you, like a lost puppy. I'm not who I was, and I don't care if you still love me. I changed and even once you accept that, I will still hate you for what you did to me. I was broken, and it's not your job to fix me."

I stood and turned to the audience.

"The same goes for you. I did not come here to beg for forgiveness. I came here to kill Victoria because I wanted revenge. I don't want to be a part of your family, not when trust is this fickle. I am here to help because you are the strongest clan and I will be able to beat them with your help. I didn't seek you out and I want to run away from this place as fast as I can. That doesn't mean that I will. I'm not a scared little girl. I'm not going to run like you did. I'm not a coward."

**A/N This was a little bit harsh, but she has been bottling this up for months. It is essential to have her throw it all out now. The next chapter will take a while, because I will be in Greece for twelve days. Starting the 14th. Unless I feel like writing next week you guys will have to wait a while. And remember to review.**


	18. Nothing

**A/N Will you accept my sincerest apologies? Believe it or not, but after suffering from writers block the week before, during and after my trip, I finally got my inspiration. The pairing hasn't changed, and everything will be explained in the battle next chapter. Enjoy and let me know what you think.**

When you can't sleep you can't dream. One of the many negativities of being a vampire. I've tried many times during the past few months and have immersed myself in my fantasies. I became obsessed, and I haven't been able to stop. I spent hours every day like this. Alternatives burned holes through my brain.

What if? The one question I can't answer no matter how hard I try. What if they'd stayed regardless of what happened? What if I'd never found out about what they were, what I was? Would I've been in love with Edward without a doubt? Unlike now, where I wonder if I just fell in love with the species.

Vampires had a great mind and most knew more of the past centuries than books did. Could I fall in love with any vampire that hadn't decided to kill me? Had I been that pathetic? Just because Edward could recite the play Romeo and Juliet by heart, did that mean that it was the reason I fell in love with him, instead of one of the many unimportant reasons?

Could I've loved others of the Cullen family? Would I've seduced Aro or Caius, when given the chance? Loved Demitri or Felix, just because of the fountain of knowledge they have? Would I've fallen out of love when I'd learned everything I could? Would I've been able to when I'd interrogated Edward for all he was worth? What if?

It's not really daydreaming when you're a vampire. The images are too vivid. The voices match too perfectly. The movement are to precise to be unnatural. It's like I live in another world in my imagination. I could sit here for days without moving a muscle, living in my paradise, where I had no worries.

But I couldn't. The one thing I stood by was the saying: If you start running, you'll never stop. I hadn't run from Victoria, and the Volturi was just a few countries away, packing far the war that was going to take place in this very meadow (according to Alice's vision).

The Cullens hadn't bothered me again after our argument yesterday, not after discussing our strategies and Edward's second attempt to win me back.

He had explained his reasons, maybe some of them were actually convincing, had another 'what if' happened. But now that he and I knew the consequences of his actions and choices, they sounded really bad to my ears, and most likely to his as well.

That's why I was here. I could be myself here. Let go of my control and my powers. I let my shield down and watched my life play out on my eyelids where I was truly happy. No threats, no pain, no betrayal.

I was camping with the Cullen clan. Alice was literally jumping trees and Jasper was swimming in the river. Emmett and Rosalie were setting up the tents and Esme and Carlisle were lying on their backs while they pointed randomly at stars and clouds while whispering too softly for me to hear.

Edward was sitting against a tree until our eyes locked and he was suddenly only an inch away. "Kiss me," he ordered with a whisper. His lips were close to mine and I was ready to lean forward. Our lips touched and I was about to grant him entrance as he asked for it when I noticed that his lips gave pressure.

Fantasies can do much, but they can't substitute reality, and I certainly never feel their touch. I can touch them, but there is no cold or hot, no pain unless I want it to be there.

My eyes flew open to see Edward Cullen standing there. His bronze hair was done in its usual style and his eyes where a darker shade of gold than usual. His lips were on mine and he had caught me completely off guard. My shields went up in a reflex and I felt that he had seen my thoughts, that he was still trying to. The bronze-haired vampire had invaded my privacy when I was most vulnerable, the only time that I was, taking that relieve away from me.

I leaned in for less than a second, sure that he hadn't noticed when I pushed him off in anger. He flew through the air and took a tree down with him. He was up in a second and stared at me with something akin to fear.

"How could you?" I started dangerously. "You've betrayed my trust and have just ruined your chance to get it back. Your family is only a tool, Cullen. Once I've destroyed the Volturi with your help, you're left to fend for yourself, I'll go as far away as I can be without leaving the planet."

"What about your dream?" he asked desperately, hoping for something that could atone him. "We were there. I was there!"

I sighed and wished things could be different. That one of my fantasies had come true.

"They're not dreams. They're lives. Our lives if you had turned me when I asked. I would've been who I was. I would've always had to listen to your every word. I wouldn't have made my own choices. Everything that was too dangerous would've been stopped by you._ I_ would have had _no_ life. _You_ would have a_ perfect_ life. Esme and Carlisle could finally have their last daughter-in-law, you would've had your obedient dazzled wife and Alice would've had her best friend. Rose would've hated me until the end of days and Emmett would've been overjoyed. Jasper would finally be able to get to know me, instead of about me, but I would be a shell of what I've become. That was a _nightmare_, Edward, not a dream."

I sighed again, in anger this and frustration this time, seeing his thoughts reflected in the golden eyes. Pain, restlessness, and betrayal. The last part immediately erased the guilt I'd felt or what I would be doing next.

"They mean little to me, Cullen, and you, you mean nothing, nothing to me."

**A/N So, thank you for the reviews and I hope you'll all be staying with me till the end. I have written a preface about choices in**_** Lily's choice**_**. As it is compatible with this chapter, I recommend (quite shamelessly) that you read the first chapter of said story. I am as of now writing for my own pleasure, instead of for the reviews I want. Acknowledging the fact that writing the last couple of one-shots was far more enjoyable as I did it to practice my writing and English. It is the way I'm going to write from now on. I have renewed my interest in this story, but I think it's still not going to be more than four chapters. I mostly hate pointless chapters, and therefore I don't usually write them. All my love and I'll update ASAP. **


	19. Ignite

The meadow was silent as we stood there. I stood in front of the other seven vampires, waiting for the moment to come. Edward was looking at the Volturi's progress with Alice. He was talking nonstop about what they were seeing.

They were coming.

We prepared, planned, listened and spoke. It all came down to this. Should my plan fail, we were lost. There would be no happy ending, no life, only ashes. Should my plan work, there would be very few casualties.

"… They're almost here."

A small drop of rain touched my nose, and I looked at the sky to see dark clouds covering the sun. The closer the Volturi came, the harder it rained. We stood like rocks. Our clothes were drenched and hugged our skin when the first pair of eyes as red as blood locked to mine.

The vampires glided into the meadow as a whole. Their formation was not at all strategic and left a lot to be desired. They were too confident, too sure of their numbers, to bother. Time had made them arrogant. They believed they were superior because they had more knowledge, but they weren't.

There were more than I had expected: New-born vampires and their allies that shouldn't have been here. Doubts were created in my mind as it went into overdrive to figure something out.

I looked for Marcus in the crowd, and saw him standing next to Aro. He hadn't been accused of anything and I think that Aro never even expected it. He looked bored and uninterested, and that (somehow) gave me the courage to step forward.

"Welcome, Aro, to our territory."

He took a step towards me and smiled. Had I been human, I would've been dazzled. He took my hand and kissed my wrist.

"Cara, it's a pleasure to see you again after your abrupt departure. I missed your company."

"I had urgent business and was not at liberty to say goodbye, but I suppose that can wait longer."

Both of us stepped back into the safety of our allies. I knew the plan by heart, but it wasn't the plan the others wanted me to know. We had spent hours in discussion, and only one of us – Jasper – had observed that we had no plan for a hostage situation, but I had immediately countered his observation with the argument that they were there to kill us, not to trade one for the other.

He had been right, and I think he knew that, but he never said a thing. With their recent losses, there was an immediate need for power and numbers, something we both had. They would trade, but I was the one they wanted. Aro needed me and my powers to eliminate his numerous enemies, especially now.

"We are here today to serve justice. A girl that knows of our existence has been left alone and at liberty to tell anyone who wants to hear about us. As it is against the rules of our world, we have to execute you. You have left me no other choice.

"We have. You are looking for power, they have it. Let them live, they've done nothing wrong."

"After all, I'm here."

I felt the memories and feelings that I hid behind my shield come free. I felt the hatred and pain again as I watched days pass in seconds. And even the burning in my arms didn't distract me. I collected all my hatred, my pain, my sorrow, my life and ignited. The flames licked my skin, never burning, but always hurting. I felt it spread and looked up. My eyes locked to Aro's and I smiled easily through the pain. I only had this in store for them. Their eyes widened with fear, as my smile turned into a smirk.

"Remember me?"

**A/N: This is very short and you'll probably hate me, but my laptop crashed and I did not have a backup. That means that my life has been erased together with the 4000 words I'd already written for this story. This is to help you not get mad (or madder) and I will try my hardest to finish this soon. **


	20. Hostages

I resisted the urge to curl up and die as my right foot moved forward. My speed increased to its maximum in a second as I ran towards the New-borns.

The minute they attacked me and tried to touch my skin they ignited. One by one they screamed as the flames erased their existence.

The few allies that had been invited to join the Volturi fled when they saw them fall. I was about to run for Aro when I heard him shout; "Stop!"

In his arms in a chokehold was Edward. He stood frozen in fear and I halted in my movements as the flames died out and the pain faded until I could breath again.

"Edward foolishly ran after you when you attacked my friends. You should've made sure they kept their distance while we tried to stop you from killing them. Join us, and I'll let him go free as the Cullens get away unharmed."

I thought hard and fast as everyone observed me. I could join him, but would Aro do as promised?

I didn't think so.

"Why would I trade myself for him? He left me alone to die, told me he didn't love me, took his family with him and I became this. Tell me, why?"

"Bella Swan, you love him. You would've given everything for him, don't tell me that has all changed."

"It has, Aro."

"Proof it."

How? I loved him, and I could hardly proof the contrary. Edward would die and we would lose our lives.

"You want proof, good luck."

I closed my eyes and my shield reduced as I concentrated. Aro could suddenly read his mind and I hoped that he would see what I wanted him to see.

Our previous conversation had convinced Edward that I didn't love him. I just hoped that it would convince Aro as well.

"So this love is one-sided, but not the side we all suspected. You have the most interesting conversations. It's a good thing that I can read thoughts, because knowing you it could have been rehearsed."

"It's a good thing that it wasn't. You can keep him, I'll join you. I don't fancy running for the remainder of my existence."

"Why the change of heart?"

"Realisations. A solitary existence is was not meant for me, and I want a family that I cannot possibly get when I'm with them." I pointed at the growling Cullens, the words of betrayal hanging in the air. No one spoke them out loud, but they didn't need to. Not while I strode through the members of the Volturi and took my place next to Jane and behind Chelsea.

I turned on my heel to watch as Aro and Edward whispered to each other. All of us were excluded from the negotiations that were taking place.

I got distracted and observed the others. I had taken a place at the front of the gathered warriors. We all took a step backwards when Edward approached and stood next to me. Aro had a big smile on his face and looked almost proud to see him and me standing here, with him, with his clan.

The Cullens looked ready to scream and shout and kill, too. I myself was taking a small step forward. I wanted to make sure that he knew that he meant nothing to me, that we weren't equals. I was not his friend, even though he now stood on the same side as me.

I waited as I watched Carlisle converse with Aro and both backed off, getting ready to launch a full attack. Once both were in place I grabbed Chelsea from behind and she screamed as Aro turned around to look for its source.

"Your reign is over, Aro."


	21. Destruction

**A/N sorry for the long wait, real life's getting in the way.**

"What makes you think that the death of Chelsea would end our position in the Volturi. Chelsea is a wonderful vampire, but I don't see your point."

"Chelsea can manipulate the bonds between people. I have seen her do it and it makes her _the key_ **to **your position amongst your clan."

Seeing that not only Aro, but everyone else was confused, I explained the whole plan, careful not to loosen my grip on the red-eyed vampire's neck.

"I can shield myself and other people. I use my powers on them during such moments. Should I die, everyone I'm shielding will suddenly be vulnerable, you know that. Chelsea's powers work even when she's not there, they're permanent. That stops when she dies."

His eyes widened long enough for me to notice.

"That's right. Every bond she weakened or strengthened will return to its old status. Once I do this, your own coven will attack each other, giving me all the time in the world to kill you, unless, of course, Marcus kills you first."

I wanted to explain the other things I'd done, when I felt a sharp pain in my stomach and doubled over as Chelsea suddenly escaped from my grasp.

Before I'd straightened I heard the now familiar sound of a head being ripped off its body. I looked to see Edward standing there with a head in his right hand and a lighter in his left. The body was on fire before anyone else thought to move.

All of them froze, they stood as statues and I felt the danger approach in my gut. I grabbed Edwards arm and jumped as far and high as I could. We landed messily in a tree and I immediately let go of his arm and avoided his questioning gaze.

There was no movement in the meadow. No one was breathing as the bonds that Chelsea had formed had suddenly disappeared. The Cullens, who apparently realized that unpredictable vampires were the most dangerous, followed our example and were soon up a tree.

The sight beneath us was one that I would never forget. A coven that had been close nit for all those years, for centuries, moved as one. Fights broke out and one by one vampires went down. The red-eyed women and man turned against those who'd been their friend and family. I saw the coven destroy itself.

Caius stood with Marcus against Aro, who was trying to talk them out of killing him. I jumped trees and stepped down. I stood next to Marcus and listened. Aro begged, he pleaded, he asked for mercy. I never saw someone as pathetic as he was.

"You killed you sister, you friend's wife, and you want us to show mercy? Want him to show mercy?" I nodded to Marcus and he glanced at me with gratitude.

That moment was all Aro needed to run. Before I registered what had happened I saw Edward jump down the same tree I had and tackle the fallen vampire. He forced Aro's hands behind his back and gave a nod to Marcus who grabbed Aro's head and twisted of his body. I gave Caius my lighter and he nodded, flipping it open and looking at the small flame. He threw it on the body and they watched for a second as the body turned into ash. Edward let it go and we turned to watch the battlefield.

Jane and Alec obviously had the upper hand as they were the only ones working together. With their powers combined they paralyzed and crucified a group of coven members at the same time. There was nothing we could do to stop the fight, but I definitely didn't want them to be last two standing. I concentrated and felt my shield expand to cover most of the meadow.

The twin's powers suddenly stopped working and within seconds they were torn to shreds, having no fighting abilities besides there powers.

The group of a dozen red-eyed vampires, having fought with their enemies and ready to think of self-preservation, fled the scene and I watched as the most powerful clan in the world be reduced to its last remaining two leaders.

**A/N anyone an idea for the epilogue, because I don't want to twist and turn this story even further as the updates would take months. thank you for reading, reviewing, favoriting and alerting this story and if you have a one-shot challenge, don't be afraid to challenge me, I can spare some time if I'm not having amateur writer's block.**


	22. Was it love?

**Epilogue**

**A/N the end was inspired by NCIS, the episode eternal affairs. My sincerest thanks for everyone who's read and reviewed this, you've been great to me.**

She disappeared. Edward had seen her talk to the two remaining Volturi members and a day later they jumped onto a plane without saying something.

The Cullens were grateful for the things she'd done to save them, but they were finally content to just let her be. They had seen who she'd become, and realized that Bella didn't want protectors, but friends. They were waiting for a time when she would come to them, Edward didn't have that patience.

He'd jumped on another plane towards the same destination after three days of waiting, knowing that he needed answers and that she would have them all.

Volterra was not a place he'd visited often, but it hadn't changed much since he'd last been there. Bella, Marcus, Caius apparently hadn't had the chance yet to hire new guards, because he was able to avoid confronting any vampires until he reached the entrance.

He entered the hallway and saw Bella walk toward him. Edward immediately noticed the changes. Her hair was in a ponytail, her clothes were casual, but imposing, and her face was blank. She didn't smile, she didn't blink and she wasn't breathing either.

They started their walk through a maze of corridors and doors of every imaginable size, encountering several new Volturi members.

Bella spoke first.

"I knew you'd come here." There was nothing in her voice but arrogance. She'd been right and that was all that mattered to her.

"Do you love me?"

"When I met you, I was intrigued by your family. They loved me because of who I was to you, not because of who I was. You were not family, but protectors. Was that love? When you left, I knew there was nothing I could do in my life, so I stopped taking care of myself. Was that the loss of love? I changed, became a vampire. I killed others and felt strong enough. I was no longer plain clumsy Bella Swan. I was a vampire. I took care of myself, but I still protected you. I did your job for once. Was that love? I saved your family despite everything you've done for me. Was that love?" For not even a second she showed any emotion. It was like she was repeating lines that had been written ages ago.

"It was love, I can admit that, but that's not enough. You fell in love with a human Bella, but that's not who I am anymore. It's someone I left behind months ago. I don't know if my love was for you, or what you are. Love is not enough. Maybe one day, but not now."

"Everything you did since you were turned, has been for you alone. I won't be tricked Bella. You helped us so you would have numbers when they were going to take you down. You killed them so you would rule. You can't handle the power you have gotten."

"Fairy tale ending for me." Bella smiled as she said it and took her place on Aro's chair.

"The castle was stormed, the guards were killed and you took the dead king's place on the throne."

This was not his Bella, and this was not the new Bella either. This was the leader of the Volturi. She was not who she used to be, maybe someday, but not now, not today. Love was not enough.

Edward left before his last words stopped echoing through the room

"Long live the queen."

**A/N Power corrupts, people change, and sometimes love is strong, but their love wasn't strong enough. Maybe one day they'll meet and really fall in love, they have all the time in the world after all.**


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